Lily Evans This is Her Life
by punkchick99
Summary: Sirius, Remus, and two girls have come up with an ingenius plan to get Lily and James, whom are best friends, to realise their long lost love for each other. Will Lily and James end up joined at the hip? Includes humor, romance, and the Marauders.
1. Chapter 1

**VERY IMPORTANT A/N: So this story originated in about.. 2005? Possibly? Anyway. Since then I've continued it on, redone it a few times etc. But when I went back to fanfiction a few months ago and read it, I wanted to stab my eyes out with forks. Now usually, being the lazy person I am, I would delete the whole thing and forget about it - however, I made a promise to quite a few of you that I would forever keep this story here. Stupid stupid child. Therefore, I have redone, revamped, re -edited, re-faced, re - everythinged the story. It's back. It's better. And it's waiting to be read. Now I've only done 5 odd chapters so far - so bear with me as things go up and down. BEAR. WITH. ME. **

**READ. :)**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything. **

_Hogwarts Express and Truth or Dare_

Lily Evans stepped onto the Hogwarts Express, waving a hasty goodbye to her parents as she left, blowing her mother a kiss. She entered the busy carriage, grinning as she lugged her heavy trunk behind her.

This had been the routine for the past six years. She made her way down the bustling train, searching for her friends, greeting people as she went, lugging her large trunk embossed with the letters 'L' 'E'.

Eventually, after many pleasantries and wrong compartments, Lily finally found her friends in a compartment at the back. She stood outside it, gathering her bearings, quickly running her fingers through her hair and straightening up her clothes. She peered into the compartment and grinned.

On the right side sat Sirius Black, his dark hair pulled into a messy ponytail, charming grin adorning his face as he mixed up a very colorful potion in a small container on his lap.

Candace, a fiery girl with yellow-blonde hair sat next to Sirius on the right, her heavily ringed fingers gripping a piece of parchment as she read something out to Sirius – possibly ingredients for whatever concoction he was brewing.

On Sirius' other side sat Peter Pettigrew, a boy with a peculiarly rat-like face, whom had his head lying against the wall and looked to be peacefully snoring away.

On the opposite side of the compartment sat two others. James Potter sat on the right, grinning boyishly as he chatted to the girl next to him, whilst twirling his glasses around dangerously in his hand.

The girl whom he was talking to was one of Lily's best friends, Samantha Timms. She had long brown hair and a petite figure, her hands in her lap as she talked away to James, smiling and laughing.

On the floor sat a sixth person – one Remus Lupin. Lily grinned when she saw him. He sat with his legs spread out, head against the window sill, a book open on his lap entitled 'Disguising Werewolves', as he listened intently to the conversation. Lily knew he had chosen to sit there so that he could observe absolutely everything and everyone at once.

Lily picked up her trunk again and shoved the door open, trying to appear as mature and collected as possible. She didn't really have the desired effect though, as the compartment door was a sliding door, and Lily had pushed it so hard that it bounced off its hinge and came straight back to hit her in the side. She turned red and pushed it back a little more gently, stalking into the cabin embarrassedly, though still grinning.

Her friends giggled, barely surprised. Lily had a tendency to be a little clumsy. They offered her hello's and hugs, and once the greetings were over, she sat down on the other side of James, who slung an arm casually over her shoulder.

"Well, Evans, I believe congratulations are in order," said James, staring at her chest region.

"Oh is that so Potter," she said, smiling playfully, removing his arm from her shoulder and placing it back in his lap, "And what would that be for?"

James didn't answer her and she had to click her fingers in front of his face to snap him out of his reverie.

"Don't make me hex you James," she giggled, feeling a little self conscious in front of her friend.

"Oh! I am terribly sorry dear Lilikins. I meant, congratulations are in order for that wonderful addition to your chestal area," he said, smirking.

By that point all the awake occupants of the compartment were watching their exchange, most smiling.

"Now James," chimed in Sirius, "Would you be referring to the rather large addition?"

"Why yes Sirius old boy, I believe I would be, however did you guess old chum?" James inquired regally.

"Well, Prongsy, dear sir, it is hard not to notice something of such enormity protruding from Madame Lily's here chest," said Sirius, giving Lily a toothy grin.

"That is also what I thought, Padfoot. Shall we ask Lily here about it again?" he said, turning to Lily, "Lilikins dear woman, wherever did you get such a beautifully large…er… adornment?"

"Oh shut up James," said Lily, grinning as she slapped him playfully on the arm and folded her arms across her chest.

"Just say it," she said, looking at James then Sirius in exasperation.

The two boys got up, gave each other a look and a grin, and then promptly started dancing on the spot, singing "Lily is Head Girl, Lily's gonna make us hurl, Gonna get us into trouble, so when she calls we'll be there on the double!"

Lily put her head in her arms, making sure her large 'Head Girl' badge was hidden, trying not to laugh as the rest of them cracked up at the boys' antics.

The boys sat down eventually as the laughter died down, looking extremely pleased with themselves.

Lily peeked out from behind her hands to see their expressions and promptly crossed her arms.

"Oh shut up you two," she said, still amused, but pretending to be angry.

"Is that an order, Ms Head Lady?" said Sirius, smirking.

"Oh, no, she's already ordering us around! Better sit up straight and mind my manners," said James, laughing as he sat up straighter and put a pompous expression on his face.

Lily couldn't help but let a giggle escape and the boys whooped, singing something about the head girl being a naughty little girl.

Lily ignored them and leant in front of James, peering round his large frame to see Samantha, smiling when she caught the girl's eye.

"How are you Sammy?" she yelled, trying to talk over the boys.

"The same as I was when I saw you two days ago Lils!" she yelled back, referring to a shopping trip that they had taken with Candace, on which they had spent way too many galleons.

Lily giggled and turned to Candace, yelling across the same question to her.

"Good, Lils! Me and the moron here are turning Peter Pratty's hair pink while he's sleeping! Can you imagine the look on his face…" she giggled, taking the potion from Sirius the 'moron's hands and stirring it a little.

Lily laughed and then leant down over James again to talk to Remus, asking him about his summer, to which he replied the standard 'good,' 'no, no dramas', 'yes, Sirius is a moron'.

She leant back in her seat and smiled, taking in the conversations around her, wondering how Candace and Sirius had managed to work together on the pink potion that long without killing each other.

Suddenly, the door slid open, and Lily looked up in time to see it bang back into someone, who swore loudly.

"Ha!" said Lily, without checking who it was, "I knew it wasn't just me! You got done too, Bel…Oh."

Lily realized whom she had been excitedly talking to and shut her mouth quickly, stiffening and hitting James on the leg to make him look up.

The compartment went quiet as they all realized whom was at the door. Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange, their biggest fans.

"Well well well, what do we have here Bella?" inquired Rodolphus smarmily, glaring round the cabin.

"Well Rodolphus," she stated with a smirk on her rather unbeautiful face, "I believe what we have here is three dirty scumbags, a blood traitor, and three mudbloods." All three of the girls were muggle-born, and the Slytherins, particularly those two, loved to take advantage of that fact.

James and Candace both snarled, and Sirius stood up, taking his wand out of his pocket.

"Well, isn't it just dandy to see you cousin?" spat Sirius, advancing towards Bellatrix.

Bellatrix looked to her left, her right, and then behind her, putting a hand to her chest. "Who, moi?" she said, an innocently confused expression on her face, "I am no cousin of yours! Whomever can you be talking about?"

Sirius snarled again but stopped advancing as Remus stood up to hold Sirius back.

The three boys all had their wands out by then, pointing them towards the Slytherins, Peter still asleep.

"Look, you filthy Slytherins, either you get out now, or we'll blast you," warned James, flexing his recently acquired muscles a little.

"Oh, I think we can take you three. Easily," said Rodolphus, taking out his wand and motioning for Bella to do the same.

"No!" yelled Lily a little too loudly, getting up and standing next to James.

Rodolphus turned to stare at her and she blushed a little, but stood her ground.

"There's no need to fight, Lestrange," she spat, moving more in front of James, hearing Sammy and Candace get up behind her, "Just leave us alone. There's six of us, and two of you. Even your small brain can work out the odds of that one."

The young Slytherin man glared at her, the glare unbecoming on his already scarred face.

He looked at Bellatrix, and then around him, sneering.

"Fine. But next time, we'll come for you mudbloods, and you wont have your little guard dogs here to stop us," he spat, staring directly at Lily.

James and Sirius both tried to lunge forward, swearing and cursing, but the girls stopped them, letting the Slytherins leave, to which the boys protested heavily. Lily pointed her wand at their retreating backs and mumbled something under her breath, smiling a little.

Then she whirled around, glaring first at James, then at Sirius.

"What did you two stupid twats think you were doing? Huh? Imagine what could have happened if we hadn't all been here!" she reprimanded.

Both the boys were still fuming, adrenalin rushing through them.

"What the hell Lily, we could have taken them easily," yelled James, throwing up his arms in exasperation.

"Yeah, with our fucking eyes closed," mumbled Sirius, staring at Lily like she had two heads.

"Yeah, that's what you two morons would like to think. Didn't you remember that they're Slytherins? And powerful ones too. They're probably into some pretty dark shit. So imagine if they had managed to get past you three boys! Oh wait, I'm sorry, you would have stopped them with your big guns James," she snapped sarcastically, poking James' upper arm hard.

"Owie!" he yelled, grabbing his arm.

The rest of them stared at him, Lily starting to laugh a little.

"Seriously? Owie?" she inquired, giggling between the words. Within seconds, each and every one of them (except, of course, Peter) was in hysterics, though James didn't seem to find it too funny.

When they had finished laughing however, Lily put her serious face back on.

"But honestly guys, I know you were just trying to stick up for us and all, but think about what you are doing next time okay?" she told them, looking both James and Sirius in the eye, daring them to challenge her.

They looked at each other, seemingly silently deciding to let it go and sat down quietly, mumbling apologies to Lily.

Once everyone was seated, Lily sat down heavily after shutting the evil banging door, rolling her eyes and sighing.

Sirius suddenly looked up and grinned at James.

"Jamesie dear?" he asked, smiling wickedly.

"Yes, Sirius darling?" replied James, going along with whatever Sirius was planning.

"Well, dear boy, I believe that when Lilikins dearest was giving us a good telling off before, she swore!" he said, his expression one of wonderment.

James slapped a horrified expression on and gasped loudly.

"She did too old boy! What a ghastly, terrible, horrifying thing for her to do! The 'S' word too, I believe it was!" he said, stealing a sideways glance at Lily.

"What are you two on about? I always swear," said Lily, confused with where they were going with this one.

"Oh but you can't," started Sirius.

"Not anymore," continued James.

"Not now that you're…" said Sirius.

"Head Girl!" chanted the two together, suddenly in hysterics.

"The head girl swore, she's out the door, we're gonna go tell Dumbledore…"


	2. Chapter 2

They had finally made it to the castle, and most students were thankful, especially Lily. James and Sirius, and sometimes Remus, had been creating 'Head Girl' songs the entire way there, each one more and more inventive.

A particularly fantastic one (in James' opinion of course), was 'Lily, Lily, the silly billy, Became Head Girl, and made our hair curl, We tremble at her regal feet, Oh how she makes our hearts beat.' Lily, however, didn't really appreciate their attempts at humour, and by the end of the train ride was ready to throttle them.

When the train stopped they all bustled out, bags bumping, teachers attempting to yell over the bustle, particularly when Peter finally awoke and exited the cabin, much to the delight of the hundreds of students lining up to get off the train.

His hair had finally turned the perfect pink, and Lily noticed Sirius and Candace share a quick smile and high five, before Candace blushed and moved to stand next to Lily.

"Ugh, he's such a prat," she whispered to Lily, staring at Sirius with a small smile on her face.

Lily giggled and nudged her, "A prat that you can't stop staring at."

Candace stared at her, then regaining her composure, stuck her nose in the air and stated, "Lies, Lily Evans, lies. You know better than that, Oh Lady Head Girl." With that she curtsied sarcastically, and then was weaving through the crowd easily, leaving behind a trail of perfume for Lily to attempt to follow.

Samantha stood at Lily's other side, and simply smirked at the two's antics, quietly making her way through the crowd.

When they finally made it to the Great Hall, the Sorting had already begun, and the gang only had to sit through Garenza Walfee to Petrilla Zanxia before the feast gloriously appeared.

By the time the feast was ready, stomachs were grumbling everywhere There was mountains of food as usual, from traditional bangers and mash, to gleaming dishes of unrecognisable delicacies.

The Marauders and the three girls all sat down and got tucked into their food, the girls a little more politely than the animal-like boys, whom thought shovelling food in like there was no tomorrow was good manners. Lily honestly didn't know where they put it all.

After the feast, Dumbledore gave his usual scattered speech, ending with the words, "Go forth and be magical!" and then Lily had to go and carry out Head Girl duties, whilst the rest of the students were dismissed.

It turned out that Lily's first assignment was to show the first years around, and she did so unwillingly, already annoyed at the whining and irritating younger children. She went through the castle quickly, pointing out things as she went, ignoring the first years when they tried to ask questions. All she wanted to do was get back to her dorm and catch up with her friends.

And it was while she was thinking that that she bumped into the Head Boy. She had taken the first group of first years, and had not been able to see the Head Boy, as he was late to retrieve the second group. She had been climbing a winding staircase, at least 50 13 year olds trailing behind her, when she suddenly bumped into him. She stared up, suddenly at a loss for words.

Jacob Renning was his name. He was a Ravenclaw. He played Quidditch, probably Captain this year. Brown hair. Blue eyes, a killer smile. And Merlin, had he built up over the holidays.

He smiled down at her, holding out his hand.

"Hey, I'm Jacob, your trusty Head Boy. You're Lily, right?" Lily took his hand and shook it, stuttering out a reply.

"Y-Yeah." All she could think was 'He knows my name, he knows my name, he knows my...'

"So how are this lot going?" he questioned, smiling that killer smile at her, dazzling her so much that she thought she might faint.

"They're, um, dandy," she replied, regretting the words as soon as she said them. Dandy? Where the hell had that even come from? Then she recalled Sirius saying it earlier, and resolved to kill him in his sleep.

"How are yours?" she said, trying to regain her composure as she turned bright red.

He pretended not to notice, telling her they were fine, and that he'd better be getting on.

"Of course, of course, me too," she said hurriedly, pretending that she suddenly had an important meeting or something.

She bustled past him on the stairs, holding her hands to her face to cool it down a little as soon as he was out of sight.

Internally she swore at herself, mentally making a note to work on her talking-to-boys-other-than-the-Marauders skills.

She turned around to face her first years, many of whom were giggling at merlin knows what, and snapped, "Well, that's the end of this tour, folks. You all know where your common rooms are, now scram! Gryffindors, follow me."

The first years stared at her and then did scram, all scurrying off in different directions. Lily was sure that some of them would end up in the wrong rooms, or get lost, or end up in the lake or something. But at this point, she didn't care. She had just made an idiot of herself in front of the cutest guy ever – whom happened to be working side by side with her all year.

She strode back to the common room, the first years barely able to keep up with her. They reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Lily barely having broken a sweat, the first years about to faint with exhaustion. Lily yelled the password and stalked in, dismissing the first years by informing them it was their bed time.

No one else was in the common room except for a small group by the fire – of course, her friends. She breathed a sigh of relief, walking over and sitting down heavily next to Candace. They all stared at her as she arrived, the silence a little unbearable. She stared back, glaring.

"What!" she demanded, putting her hands up to her face to see if there were any food remnants or something. Oh wouldn't that be great, she'd made an idiot of herself, and there was probably half a steak on her face or something.

At that point, the gang all burst into laughter, Sirius clutching his sides as he rolled on the floor.

Sammy was the only one who managed to contain her laughter, saying to a very red-faced Lily, "Bad night, Lils?"

Lily suddenly realised that they had all probably been watching her exchange with the first years, when she had oh-so-lovingly told them to get their asses to bed before she hexed them.

"Oh shut up," she told them, her face returning to its normal colour as she refrained from giggling. She was starting to see the funny side.

James saw this and nudged her. "C'mon Lils, have a little giggle," he said, bursting into laughter again.

Sirius caught on. Those two were like a comedy routine. "Oh yes, a little chuckle," he said pompously.

Remus joined in unexpectedly. "Perhaps a little chortle?" he inquired, before laughing loudly.

At this Lily did have a little giggle, chuckle, and chortle. The comment from Remus had been so unexpected that it just set her off. She clutched Candace, whom hadn't stopped laughing the whole time, nearly crying when she had finally stopped laughing.

"Like I said, shut up you guys," she said, wiping a few tears from eyes, "Maybe I decided that I don't particularly like whiny, whinging, stupid, annoying, irritating first years!"

This caused the boys to erupt into fits of laughter again. When they finally quietened down, Remus suggested that they return to the game they had been playing before Lily had so rudely interrupted.

"What were you playing?" she asked, shuffling backwards so that her legs were out in front of her and she was leaning backwards on her hands.

"Oh, just a good old-fashioned game of Truth or Dare," said Candace, running her fingers through her long blonde hair and flicking it back a little.

"Yeah, you in?" said Sirius, going back to his original position next to James, so that the group was in a circle formation.

"For sure," she said, "But just one question before we get into it. Where on earth is Peter?"

Sirius and Candace glanced at each other and giggled a little.

"Oh, he's otherwise preoccupied," started Sirius, "Trying to get the pink colour out of his hair," finished Candace.

"Merlin," said Lily good naturedly, rolling her eyes and smiling, "Right then, who's go was it?"

"Mine!" yelled Candace, jumping up as if it was a competition.

"Merlin, woman, calm down," said Sammy, tugging on Candace's leg until she sat down again.

"Okay, okay," she said, "I just got a little excited. Party pooper," she mumbled.

Sammy playfully swotted her leg. "Alright drama queen, just bloody well get on with it will you!"

"Okay, gosh. Hmm. Okay! Got one. Sirius Black, truth or dare," she stated loudly, looking at him with a challenging look on her face.

He smiled back handsomely, trying to weaken her. She didn't budge.

"Well, of course, a real man always chooses dare," he replied, his smile widening.

She looked at him questioningly, adopting an innocent expression.

"Does that mean that you choose truth?" she inquired, smiling like an angel.

His smile fell a little and he glared her, but he remained in good spirits.

"Little witch," he mumbled, before replying loudly, "Why no m'dear, I am a real man. Would you like me to prove it to you?" he asked, standing up and pretending to unzip his pants.

Candace ignored him, but her smile was the one that widened this time.

"So you choose dare then?" she asked.

"Of course!" he said, still standing, his hands by his sides now as he watched her carefully, his expression not giving away anything as he grinned.

"You brought this upon yourself Black! Prove that you're a man, then!" she chuckled evilly, knowing he would never do it.

Groans came from the group, as well as questions as to why Candace would ever dare such a thing. None of them wanted to witness that. But Candace was absolutely positive he would never do it.

Which was why she was so surprised when he grinned and accepted the dare, his hands reaching for his belt.

Candace's eyes widened, her mouth wide open.

"He wouldn't," she said to Lily, whom only replied by covering her eyes and nodding. The others sat transfixed, not knowing whether to look away or not. Would he really do it? James began to beg him not to, as did Remus and Sammy.

By that point he had undone his belt and taken it off, swinging it around with a whooping noise before letting it go, lobbing it across the room. Then he undone the top button of his tight jeans, spinning round as he went, all the while grinning.

He undid the button and the zipper and pulled down his pants, revealing a pair of very embarrassing boxers with elves on them, and a pair of rather hairy, yet toned legs.

Candace had barely finished looking at his legs when he snapped his fingers.

"Candy dear, eyes back up here!" he laughed, knowing her hate for the nickname, as well as embarrassing her by catching her looking at his legs.

Then he stood to attention, a serious looking coming onto his face.

"And now, mateys, is the moment you have all been waiting for. The moment when I prove that I, Sirius Black, am a real man. The moment that will change your life forever."

James got up and tried to force Sirius to take his pants and put them back on, begging, bargaining.

"No James, dearest! It has to be done! I must prove to my fair lady, that I am manly enough for her!" he professed, pushing James away.

And with that, he grabbed his boxers, and then quick as a flash, instead of pulling his boxers down, he took his shirt off.

They all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Look, Candy darling, CHEST HAIR!" he yelled, dancing round and coming way too close to her face in order to show her the few strands of dark chest hair that he had.

Lily began to laugh, though no one was sure whether it was because she was so relieved, or at Sirius' antics. The rest of them joined in, and Sirius pranced around, enjoying the attention. Only Candace remained stonyfaced.

"What's wrong, dearest?" inquired Sirius, sitting himself next to Candace, clad only in his boxers still, "disappointed that you didn't get to see the whole sexy package?"

At this she cracked a smile, hitting Sirius on the arm, relaxing.

"Shut up you stupid dog," she started, "who's turn now?"

"Mine, mine, mine," screeched Sirius, getting back up and dancing like a maniac in the middle of the circle.

"Okay, Sirius!" yelled Remus over the top of him, "But as long as you put your pants back on! We can see right up the leg of your boxers you know."

Hearing this, Sirius pranced back out of the circle and pulled his jeans on as he danced, managing somehow not to fall over. He returned to his seat next to James and slung his arm around James' shoulders, who grinned at his friend, snorting.

"I choose Prongsy here!" stated Sirius, smiling round at the circle.

"Now James, pookie wookie woo woo," proclaimed Sirius, " would you like to choose the manly path or the girly path?"

James merely rolled his eyes, and sarcastically replied, "As much as that last skit of yours was entertaining, I think I would rather take the girly way out."

Sirius removed his arm from James' shoulders and slapped his hand over his mouth, obviously shocked.

"Dear Merlin old chum, are you sure? Last chance to change your mind," he said, looking pleadingly at James.

"Nope, I'd prefer not to bare my sexy body to people who just can't handle it," retorted James, earning smirks and glares from the girls.

"Oh alright then," said Sirius, looking a little downtrodden, "Umm. Now I have to actually think. What is this! Some kind of... conspiracy thing!"

"Yes, Padfoot, of course it is. We actually planned all of this, in order to get your brain to actually function," replied James sarcastically, grinning as a look of contempt adorned Sirius' face.

"I knew it! I knew it! You guys totally did this on pur..." he started, but was cut off by Candace.

"Oh, just bloody well get on with it will you!" she yelled over the top of him, drumming her long nails on the floor as she began to get impatient.

"Okay, gosh, someone's PMSing," said Sirius softly, so that only James heard.

James smirked, glad Candace hadn't heard and urging Sirius to hurry up.

"Okay, I know. Easy. Jamesie Poo, if you had to go out with one of the Gryffindor girlies, who would it be?" asked Sirius, grinning conspiringly.

James turned a beautiful shade of red and the three girls looked intrigued, as it was hard to embarrass James.

He turned to look at Sirius and they seemed to have an unspoken conversation with their eyes – Sirius' playful, James' murderous. It looked as if Sirius won however, as James looked up at the group, still red-faced.

"Well, I guess, that would have to be, um, Romilda Franken," he said quickly, not looking anyone in the eye.

The girls stared at him in disgust. Romilda was one of the skankiest girls in their year, and was known to, well, you know. Do basically anything.

Sirius, however, grinned even wider.

"Now, now James dearest, tell the truth! That is just lies, lies, lies," said Sirius in a singsong voice.

James gave Sirius a look that could kill, and then turned back to the group.

"For fuck's sake, okay. Sirius will bloody tell you if I don't anyway. My real answer would be Lily," he said, mumbling the last word.

The girls leaned forward, Lily agape. Remus only smiled, looking as if he had known all along. Sirius, however, seemed to want to milk it for all it was worth.

"Sorry Prongs, didn't catch that last word," he said, cupping his ear and moving closer to James. "What was that?"

James gave Sirius a death stare, before repeating loudly and clearly, "Lily."

Lily gasped, getting the confirmation she needed.

"Holy maracas," she whispered loudly.

Sammy giggled, and Candace went back to examining her nails, as if it weren't a big deal.

"James?" Lily asked, "Seriously? This isn't some stupid prank?"

"Nah. Yeah, it's, um, true," he said, looking at the ground.

"Yay! Now that we've got that all out in the open," started Sirius, but was interrupted by James getting up.

He rose and kicked Sirius in the side, not too hard, but hard enough to hurt, and loudly directed the worst insult towards Sirius that he could think of.

"You suck, Sirius!" and with that he stalked up the stairs to the boys' dorm, slamming the door behind him.

"Ow!" squealed Sirius, clutching his side. "That really hurt! Little bitch! And he said the 's' word. We never say that word! Unless..." and then it suddenly dawned on Sirius.

He slapped himself in the forehead. "Oh, I get it, he's mad at me, huh? Maybe I shouldn't have made him tell? Was that it?" he asked, staring round the circle.

Remus snorted and retorted, "You think so Paddy?"

"Damn. Alrighty then folks, this meeting of the Marauders and Co. is adjourned until further notice. It's been dandy working with you and I do hope we meet again soon, unless of course I am murdered by the Potter child. I bid you adieu!" he said, before saluting and then running up the stairs, leaving his t-shirt lying on the floor, and his belt somewhere across the room.

"I'd better go too," sighed Remus, "It could be a long night. Have a good one, girls!" He took the stairs a little slower, composed as he waved to the girls, giving Lily a sympathetic smile.

And with that, the three girls were alone, Lily's face such a mixture of emotions that she looked as if she were trying to work out a very hard spell.

She sputtered illegible words.

"Do you think... Should I... Is he... Was he...Um?"

Sammy and Candace looked at each other behind Lily's back and with a nod, both put their arms around her.

"Now Lils," started Sammy softly, "Did you not see it coming at all?"

Lily turned to stare at her, a disbelieving look in her eyes.

"Seriously? Seriously?" she said, her voice becoming extremely high pitched. "Of course I bloody didn't! James is my best friend! We've known each other since first year! He...I...What the bloody hell!"

Candace rolled her eyes, pushing Lily's hair out of her eyes, saying very matter of factly, "It was bound to happen Lils. Come on. He's a male, you're female, any two people of the opposite sex who get on that well are bound to end up together. You two are perfect for each other!"

"Hang on a minute," said Lily, her voice back to a normal level as she pushed the girls away from her, standing up, "Who said that I would go out with him? I mean, of course I need to talk to him and we need to work this out, but I have no plans to date him!"

Candace looked up at her in surprise, whereas Sammy didn't seem all too surprised at all.

"Well, why the bloody hell not, Lils? He's fit! And cute, and totally hot for you. Why wouldn't you go for it?" she asked, not understanding at all.

"Because Candace, there's this thing that you probably wouldn't understand, called an emotional connection," she started spitefully, earning a glare from Candace, "And anyway, I think I like someone else," she finished.

Sammy gasped and got up, grabbing Lily's arm.

"Who!"

Candace followed suit, and soon they were both begging her for a name, a hint, anything.

But she just smiled secretively, giving them only two letters.

H. B.


	3. Chapter 3

Meanwhile, as Sam and Candace were trying to work out who had the initials HB, James was staring down a nonchalant Sirius up in the boys' dorm.

"Well?" he demanded, stepping closer to Sirius, who was standing just in front of the closed door.

"Well what, Jamesie poo?" asked Sirius, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

"Well, why did you do that to me? You know how I feel about her, and then you make me just go and... do it... just... like that!" he spluttered, trying to get across what he was saying without strangling Sirius.

"Sorry, buddy," said Sirius, smiling as if it was all a big joke.

James strode towards Sirius and Remus stepped in front of him, putting a hand on his chest.

"C'mon James, let's just get some sleep, you two can go over this in the morning," he said, ever the diplomatic one.

"I don't think so Rem," said James through gritted teeth, "I think Sirius and I need to talk this out right now."

Remus looked between a still-smiling Sirius and a livid James and decided that it wasn't his fight.

"Fine, whatever," he resigned, "As long as all you do is talk. And not in here, I want to go to bed. Oh, and if either of you come back with bruises or black eyes, you'll have me to deal with."

James chose not to point out to Remus that there was nothing that he could possibly do to either of the larger boys, and stalked out of the room, grabbing Sirius by the collar and half-dragging him with him.

"Where we going, Prongs?" said Sirius, his smile falling a little as he tried to detach James' hand from his collar.

"Room of Requirement," muttered James, letting go of Sirius and putting a finger to his lips as they exited the portrait hole, indicating for Sirius to be quiet – which was a feat in itself.

They reached the room and James opened the door. Sirius had been a little worried, as the room gave the occupants what they needed. He had expected swords or duelling instruments, as James was acting a little insane.

However, when they entered the room, James first, then Sirius cautiously after, all Sirius saw was a refrigerator, a giant crackling fire, several cushy looking armchairs, and a coffee table with magazines on it.

"Cool!" exclaimed Sirius, bounding in, grabbing a drink from the fringe, and sitting down on the couch, grabbing one of the magazines. When he noticed the front cover of the magazine he got even more excited. "Ohhh right Jamesie! How'd you know I didn't have this one?" he asked, holding up the most recent edition of WizardPlay, on the cover of which was a witch in a rather compromising position.

James just rolled his eyes. "I didn't, you dickhead. It obviously gave us what we both needed."

"Oh. Fair enough," said Sirius, squashing himself into the couch, looking as if he was getting ready for a good read, sighing in contentment.

"Good read?" asked James, grinding his teeth as he followed suit, grabbing a can from the fridge and sitting down on the couch – minus a magazine.

"Hell yes," said Sirius, not even looking up as James sat across from him.

"Sirius," growled James.

"Yeah wha?" said Sirius, concentration level slowly lowering.

"I didn't bring you here so we could read porn together, you dirty great prat. LISTEN. TO. ME. NOW!" he said, his voice ending up in a yell.

Sirius looked a little startled and snapped out of his reverie.

"Geez Prongsy, who put your knickers in a twist?"

"LILY EVANS DID!" yelled James, getting a little worked up at this point.

"Woah, really?" Sirius smirked, "Didn't know she had it in her."

James looked murderous, so Sirius decided to tone it down a little.

"Okay, okay, deep breaths James. Deeeep breaths." Sirius tried to imitate breathing exercises, but ended up resembling a hyperventilating chicken.

"Shut up," started James, "And listen to me. Why the fuck did you make me tell Lily that I like her?"

"Merlin child, tone down the language you bloody shitting prat, innocent ears here," said Sirius, grinning and pointing at his ears.

James just glared at him. "Well?"

All that was going through Sirius' head was – 'excuse, excuse, c'mon Siri, what's a good excuse.' And this was what popped out of his mouth.

"A hot alien girl!" yelled Sirius, clapping his hands together in glee.

This time James looked at him as if he had gone completely mental.

"No, seriously James! Would I ever not be Sirius with you?" giggled Sirius, slapping his knee.

James just growled something illegible, so Sirius decided to take the plunge and just tell him. Tell him his beautifully constructed excuse, that is.

"Well you see Prongs," started Sirius, thinking quickly, "There was this really hot alien girl right, and she flew down from outer space, and she told me that if I made you tell Lily, then she would give me a…"

"SIRIUS! I'm serious here!"

"Uh, I know it's an out-of-date joke, but, no, I'm Sirius."

James now seemed to be foaming at the mouth. Intriguing.

"SIRIUS! Are you going to explain, or am I going to hit you until you do?" threatened James, getting out of his seat and advancing upon Sirius menacingly.

"No, seriously Prongs! And she did, she gave me a…"

"SIRIUS! I will hurt you, believe me!" yelled James, moving closer.

"No, but it was all worth it! Maybe I can get her to give you a…"

"Sirius! I'm this close to..." warned James, nearly at Sirius' armchair.

"Alright, alright."

"NOW EXPLAIN! PROPERLY!" yelled James, sitting back down in his chair heavily.

"Okay, fine! But first, I need to clear something up."

"What," sighed James.

"Look Prongs, the alien girl. She was totally real. And she gave me a lollipop. It was blue!" said Sirius excitedly.

"Oh dear Merlin," said James, rolling his eyes. "Well now that we've got that cleared up, let's discuss more pressing matters – like the fact that you have just ruined my entire life?"

"Now, now, let's not get dramatic," said Sirius, however, after noting the expression on James' face, decided to take that back. "I lie, let's make it dramatic! Let's run through the halls, proclaiming that your life is over, tell everyone, write a letter to the Ministry, have a school dance dedicated to James Potter's Ruined Life..."

At this one, James cracked a grin. But he quickly covered it with a scowl.

"Siri," he said, beginning to whine now. Whining was soooo unattractive.

"Okay, okay, just stop yer bloody whining!" said Sirius over the top of James, covering his ears for a second.

"Rude!" squealed James, earning a are-you-mentally-disabled look from Sirius.

"ANYWAY," said Sirius, trying to forget that he had ever heard James speak in such a ridiculously high voice, "I'll explain. You see James, basically, I was bored. And I thought, why not make myself unbored? Then, I remembered that you liked Lily, and Lily didn't know that, and I thought she should know – then maybe you would get there. You know girls love that shit, a confident man and all?"

James resembled one of the dragons that Sirius had seen once in a picture, all red and tall, blowing fire out of their nostrils. How on earth was he doing that?

"Hey James, is that a spe-" started Sirius, wondering if James had an enchantment to make fire come out of his nose. But he was interrupted when James came flying at him, throwing him to the ground, knees on either side of him, hands on his chest.

"ARE YOU SAYING. THAT I JUST RUINED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH LILY BECAUSE YOU WERE BORED?!" he yelled down at Sirius, who was looking a little dazed.

Sirius put his arm up to his face a little uncomfortably, wiping something away.

"Mate, you just spat on my face! Ew! Keep your bloody rabies to yourself! And get off me!" he said, a little disgusted.

"SIRIUS! YOU! I! LILY! STUPID! ARGH!" and with that, James rolled off him, sitting on the floor cross-legged, glaring at Sirius as he assumed the same position about a metre away.

"Use your words James," said Sirius soothingly, grinning in delight at the shade of purple that James' face was now turning.

"You. Suck. Giant. Wenis," growled James, putting his head in his hands.

Sirius stared for a second, his mouth open, then promptly broke into peals of laughter, clutching his side.

"Wenis!" gasped Sirius, tears streaming down his face. "What in Merlin's good name is a wenis!"

A flicker of a smile adorned James face before he quickly assumed his 'angry face' again.

"It's the end of your elbow," he mumbled, trying not to grin.

"The," (gasp), "end," (giggle), "of," (snort), "my," "elbow?!" attempted Sirius, grabbing at his sides as if they were about to split.

This time James did grin, sniggering a little as he nodded.

"So are you saying," said Sirius, snorting gracefully, "that you just called me... an elbow?"

"Well, maybe," said James, finally starting to laugh and relax a little.


	4. Chapter 4

Back in the girls' dorm room, Lily was still pondering James' previous confession, whilst Candace constantly bugged her about the initials H.B.

"Maybe it was a joke? Another prank they have pulled?" said Lily out loud, her head tilted as she stared off into the distance.

Candace, who had been constantly poking the same spot in Lily's arm, stared at her and fought off the sudden urge she had to slap her friend in the face.

"Lils," she said, her teeth grinding together much like James' were a few hallways down, "He really does like you. I can tell. And it was totally obvious anyway. I mean, the lack of girlfriends? All the time you and him spend together? You're, like, meant to be."

Lily snapped out of whatever daydream she had been concocting to stare at her friend.

"What are you on about? James nearly has as many girlfriends as Sirius! Slutty, stupid, brainless bimbos..." she mumbled.

Candace smiled. "Someone a little jealous?" seeing Lily's expression, she continued, "No I mean, like, proper girlfriends. I don't think he's ever had a proper one! You know, who he can talk to and all. Not just a quick fuck."

Lily crinkled up her nose. "Cands, do you have to be so... blunt? Anyway, so what if he hasn't had many 'proper' girlfriends as you call them. He probably just hasn't found the right girl. Did you think of that?"

"Or maybe, he's found the perfect girl already, and she's just within arm's reach," said Candace, grinning, "And she's a little on the short side, with this insane red hair, blue eyes, killer body..."

Candace was cut off when Lily launched a pillow directly at her head. Before the pillow missile reached Candace however, she noticed the smile on Lily's face.

"Ha! You're smiling the smile!" yelled Candace, throwing the pillow back at Lily.

"What smile?!" yelled Lily back, trying to fight the urge to smile.

"The smile where you liiiiiike someone," said Candace, giggling and clapping her hands.

"What are you, twelve?" said Lily, grinning a little as she spoke the words. "Anyway, there has to be a real explanation for this. There is no way that James likes me. And that's that!"

"Argh!" yelled Candace, grabbing the pillow and putting it over her own face to scream into it.

"Would you shut up, woman," grumbled a groggy Sammy from the other side of the room, "Some of us have normal sleeping habits."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A splash of extremely cold water woke Lily up rather rudely.

"Agh! Wha -! Grah!" she screamed, shivering and sitting upright in bed.

"Sorry Lils," said Sammy, not looking even remotely sorry, "But you wouldn't wake up."

"Yeah," chimed in Candace, bouncing up and down, "And it's breakfast time! Yummy nummy breakfast!"

Lily simply stared at them both, a perfect picture of the living dead.

"Why the hell," she croaked, her voice thick, "are you so excited?" she said to Candace, "You were up as late as me."

"Was not! You were up all last night thinking about a certain bespectacled boy, with this cute messy brown hair..." said Candace, earning a glare from Lily, "Or perhaps, another boy with H and B in his name! Seriously Lils, why won't you just tell us who is so hot that he is stopping you from going out with your one true love?"

Lily simply continued to glare and threw the bed covers off, stalking into the bathroom to ready herself for the upcoming day. "Blargh," she yelled as she shut the door.

"Ah, why didn't we think of that? Blargh," said Sammy, giggling under her breath.

Candace crossed her arms sulkily. "Hmph."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Meanwhile, the boys were already in the Great Hall shovelling food down like there was no tomorrow.

"Siripassthebacon," said James between mouthfuls.

Sirius reached in front of him without looking, sticking his hand first in the maple syrup, then the tomato sauce, then a bowl of scrambled eggs, before finally grabbing the plate of bacon and sliding it James' way, covered in all of the above mentioned substances.

"Ta," James mumbled, throwing pieces of syrupy, saucy, eggy bacon into his mouth.

Remus looked on in amusement, eating about the same amount of them, but with a few more matters.

Across the table sat Peter, whom was whining.

"Guys, seriously, that was a mean prank. One bit wouldn't come out of my hair and now I have a pink streak! A pink! Streak! In my hair! Now how manly is that. I was going for a real macho look this year, did you see my new pants..."

His three friends tuned out to his babble, Remus nodding and making the occasional "mm" noise so that Peter wouldn't feel too ignored.

It was at the point that Sirius was helping himself to his sixth serving of pancakes that the three girls made their appearances, sitting down next to the boys.

Sirius didn't even bother to look up, as it was obvious he still had a lot of eating to do. Peter continued his rambling to an unfortunate Ravenclaw girl at the next table, and Remus nodded hello as he continued to eat.

James, however, stopped eating completely at a very inopportune moment. His mouth was half open, showing what could have possibly once been a sausage, fork halfway to his mouth with another helping bestowed upon it. He stared at Lily, his face turning bright red.

He mumbled something and then looked down again, shovelling in more food to disguise his face and so he didn't have to actually converse.

Lily pretended she hadn't seen him and began to pile food on her plate, ignoring nudges from Candace and knowing looks from Sammy.

"So James," began Candace loudly, startling James and everyone within a 50 metre radius.

"Yes?" he asked tentatively, his eyes flickering from Candace to Lily fearfully.

But Candace never responded. The entire Gryffindor table had gone quiet. Well, at least, the girls had anyway. Their eyes were all pointed towards the swinging doors at the back of the hall.

James craned his neck to see whom was causing such a distraction, and nearly choked on his eggs.

Jacob Renning was strutting through the hall, head high as he nodded at students, waved to teachers politely, smiled winningly at girls.

All eyes were on him. Girls wanted him, and boys wanted to be him.

As he sauntered closer towards the table James noticed something else. A dirty great shining badge in his chestal area. James began to breathe heavily, gripping his fork so hard that it left an imprint in his hand. That dirty great twatting prat was head boy. Head Boy!

He didn't deserve such a status! He was an absolute idiot, so stuck up and... Wait. And then, something dawned upon James. Renning was Head Boy. Lily was Head Girl. That meant... they would be working together.

James quickly looked to his left, to see Lily with the same dumb lovestruck look on her face as the rest of the girl population.

The fork snapped in James' hand, and he made a completely illegible sound, causing Sirius to finally look up.

Sirius took one look at James' face and the broken fork, then looked to Lily, following her gaze across to Renning, whom was now taking a seat across from the boys.

Sirius slowly put down his knife and fork, painstakingly pushing his food away and giving it an apologetic look, then got up and out of his seat, going to stand behind James.

"Hey Potter," said Renning cheerfully, nodding at James as he grabbed a piece of toast.

James merely nodded robotically before letting Sirius pull him out of his seat and out of the Hall.

"Flerghwehnisperdick!" yelled James once they were well clear of the Hall.

"Yes James, use you words," said Sirius soothingly, patting him on the back.

"Say that to me one more time," fumed James, "And I will break your face!"

"Now Prongsy dearest, I don't think it is my face you want to break, but rather, a certain tall Head Boy's face," said Sirius, grinning a little as James turned an even darker shade of red. James' facial expressions sure did bring amusement into Sirius' life.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Back in the Hall, the females had recovered from Renning's entrance, and everyone was peacefully eating again.

Everyone except for Candace, Sammy and Lily of course.

Lily was staring lovingly at Renning as he chatted to the boy next to him, tucking her hair behind her ear and sighing every so often.

Sammy was trying to eat her breakfast in peace, but Candace was staring at her and kicking her.

Sammy looked up at Candace in annoyance. "What?" she demanded, glaring at her friend.

Candace began to make different signs with her hands, first pointing at Lily, then Renning, then making a whole lot of convoluted hand movements.

Sammy stared at Candace, then diverted her gaze to Lily, and realised what Candace was trying to say. Lily was gazing at Renning adoringly, a ridiculous smile on her face.

Sammy gasped quietly and smiled, then looked back to Candace, who was making more funny hand movements. She kept making a square over and over again on her... chestal region.

Sammy looked over at Lily and Renning again and then suddenly realised. Renning had a Head Boy badge. H.B.

"H. B!" squealed Sammy loudly, temporarily taking Candace's role as the raucous one.

Lily's head snapped towards Sammy, her expression suddenly feral.

She glared at both Sammy and Candace, warning them to be silent, then turned back towards Renning, who was staring at Sammy.

"Um, did you say something?" he said, directed at Sammy.

"Oh," said Lily over the top of Sammy loudly, "She said she saw a bee. How silly! Ha ha."

Renning nodded and smiled at them, giving them an odd look before turning back to the boy he had been talking to previously.

"Ohmygod," said Lily under her breath, pushing her plate away and putting her rather red face in her hands.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

For both Lily and James, their day had been spent going from class to class with their friends 'suggesting' what they should do.

"But Moony, she doesn't like me! Obviously! Why should I ask her out?"

"No Sirius, I'm not going to propose to her."

"Peter, your hair looked bloody stupid anyway!"

By the end of the day, James was a little frustrated. But he had made a decision. He had to talk to her.

XxxxxX

"But Candace, I don't like James! I don't think, anyway. I like. Well. H.B!"

"No Sammy. I won't go out with James. No, Renning is not a prat! Okay, he's a little stuck up but he seems really sweet..."

And Lily was stuck in a permanent state of disillusionment.

XxxxxX

That night at dinner, James took the plunge.

He walked up behind Lily, cracking his knuckles nervously. He tapped her on the shoulder, trying not to flinch as her eyes met his.

"Lily, we need to talk."


	5. Chapter 5

Lily followed James out of the Hall, nervously wringing her hands, her breathing irregular as she anticipated James' next move.

He came to a stop just outside the Hall next to a random staircase, the hallways almost empty because most people were at dinner.

"So, um, we need to talk," began James, trying not to stutter or trip over his words.

"About...?" asked Lily, trying not to look at James and alarm herself further.

"About, um, last night. The thing I said with the truth thing. Thing."

"Right, well, yeah," said Lily, ignoring the little voice in her head and looking up at James.

Big mistake. James looked as if he were fighting an internal battle. Lily saw this, and suddenly, the adrenalin from her nervousness went straight to her head.

"So you only said me because I was the first person you thought of right? I mean it would be ridiculous that you would like me," she said extremely quickly.

James' face fell momentarily before he perked up. "Of course," he said, shrugging it off, "Ridiculous huh! Just wanted to make sure that we weren't weird now."

"Of course not, James!" said Lily, unable to make out what James was really thinking. She reached over to him and hugged him clumsily, this hug somehow different to the hundreds they had shared over the years.

James hugged her back tightly and savoured those few seconds, wishing he had had the guts to confess.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**In The Boy's Dorm**

"What!" screeched Sirius, almost bursting the eardrums of everyone in the room.

Sirius, Remus and James all sat on their respective beds, and Peter was snoring loudly in his own.

"Why didn't you bloody well tell her what you were originally going to tell her!" said Sirius, strangely starting to resemble his mother.

"She doesn't like me like that!" yelled James, glaring at Sirius miserably.

"Are you sure?" asked Remus, ever the practical one.

"Yeah, twatface! Are you sure? Did she actually say it?" yelled Sirius, rocking back and forth on his bed, a manic look on his face.

"Well, no," admitted James, "But she made it pretty damn clear!"

"Clear like a water bottle? Or clear like your glasses!" asked Sirius knowingly, almost excitedly.

"Clear like your mother," retorted James.

Sirius looked confused and his expression told James that he was about to start screaming again.

"No, no, um, clear like. Not clear?" said James, trying to use his words.

"Oh great," said Remus sarcastically, "Now you're going to constantly think about it, and that means you're going to constantly talk about it. Why didn't you just tell her Prongs!" he groaned.

"I won't! Why would I do that! No, it's fine, I'll get over it," said James defiantly.

"Lies! Lies, all of it!" yelled Sirius, throwing a giant pillow at James. "We are going to hear about this for the next century."

"Oh you are not," said James, crawling under his covers and laying his head on the pillow, "Will you two just go to bed?"

Remus just grumbled and got into bed, while Sirius remained rocking silently.

A few minutes later, just as Remus was drifting off, a voice interrupted him.

"But d'you reckon she could like me?" James pondered out loud.

Both Remus and Sirius groaned loudly.

**The Girls' Dorm**

"What!" screeched Candace, almost bursting the eardrums of everyone in the room.

"What are you on about Candace? He doesn't like me, and that's a good thing," said Lily huffily.

"Yes he does!" she yelled back, jumping on her bed in despair.

"Yeah, I reckon he does too Lils," put in Sammy, "Candace get down from there you twit!"

Candace squealed and bounced straight down, landing on her bed heavily.

"Owie. Anyway, LILY! Tell us the entire conversation. Word for word. Now!" she demanded loudly, tucking strands of loose hair behind her ears.

So Lily did, fearful of any sudden advances from Candace.

"You what! You said what! You stupid silly dumb dumb face!" yelled Candace once Lily had finished, jumping on her bed again.

Sammy rolled her eyes at Candace. "Surprisingly, bounce-a-lot over here is right. Why the hell did you jump in before he said anything Lils? He was probably about to confess his undying love for you!" she said, shaking her head frustratedly.

"Undying love!" Put in Candace from above, squealing and jumping across her bed onto Lily's.

"Oh he would not be," said Lily, brushing it off. "Would he?"

Sammy and Candace groaned in unison.

The Next Day

Breakfast was an awkward affair.

"Hey, James, can you pass the salt?" asked Lily overly cheerily, smiling a toothy grin at James across the table.

James looked up, startled and grabbed the salt, slowly passing it to her with a scared expression on his face.

"Thanks old buddy!" she said loudly, smiling as she shook about a tonne of salt onto her pancakes.

Sammy nudged Lily inconspicuously.

"Lils," she whispered under her breath, keeping her voice down, "Do you realise you're putting salt... on pancakes?"

Lily looked down, a little mortified, and began to carefully scrape the salt away, hoping no one would notice.

"LILY! Did you just put salt on your pancakes!" screeched Candace from the other side of Lily, staring at Lily's plate.

Lily's face turned red as she kicked Candace on the table, growling under her breath as she continued to scrape the salt away.

"Evans! Did you just kick me old gal! That's not very spiffing of the Head Girl Lady now is it? I might have to report you," said Sirius across the table, grinning charmingly at Lily. Lily began to form a way to strangle Sirius with her pancake.

"Oh look!" said Sirius, looking over Lily's shoulder, "It's the other part of the Head Brigade! Get it Renning, Head Brigade?" he yelled, and Lily put her head in her hands. There was no way he was behind her right now.

She heard footsteps come to a stop and groaned softly.

"Um. Yeah, Black, funny," said Renning, smiling weakly and looking a little confused, "Did you need something?"

"Well yes Renning, dear chap, I wanted to tell you that Lily here has broken a Head Brigade code by kicking me under the table – wait, she's doing it again! Ow! See Renning, violence isn't part of the ideals of your brigade is it! You'd better report her – Ow!" said Sirius, grinning and wincing as Lily continuously kicked him.

Renning started to get a little nervous, looking around as if he needed to be somewhere. "Ha ha Black, yeah, um, I have to go... wash my robes," he said scuttling away as fast as his perfectly toned legs would carry him. Which was pretty damn fast.

Lily stared at Sirius, wishing for his head to blow up with her mind powers.

"Sirius Black," she said through gritted teeth, "I hate you."

Sirius looked crestfallen for about point two of a second, before he perked up, proclaiming loudly, "Candace darling! Light of my life! I must converse with you yonder."

Candace just stared at him with her mouth open, her mouth conveniently full of what looked like sausage and eggs.

"Dearest! As much as I would love to see what you are currently consuming with your beautiful mouth and digestive system, I must ask you to hurry along so we can converse about the weather!" said Sirius loudly, standing up and holding out a hand to Candace, who shut her mouth rather quickly.

She stood up, staring at him, and refused to take his hand, stalking out of the Hall with him close on her heels.

Outside the Hall, she wheeled around, coming to a rapid stop.

Sirius bumped straight into her and she almost fell over, but he caught her at the last minute, pulling her upright easily.

She was breathless for a minute, staring at him – but then she remembered.

"Black, what is so important that you have to interrupt breakfast? I'm starving!" she said grumpily, crossing her arms and trying to hide the fact that she was thinking about the muscles he had used to catch her...

Sirius looked at her in all seriousness and she straightened up a little. This was obviously something important – for once.

"Well, it's about James and Lily. I'm not usually one to meddle," at this Candace snorted, "But I think this is getting a little out of hand. Usually we all just hang around together, and we all get along, but since I made James admit his undying love-" Candace suddenly squealed, and Sirius gave her a funny look.

"So he does have it then? Undying love!" said Candace, jumping up and down and clapping her hands together.

"Um, yeah, I think so. Maybe? Yes. Hm. Definitely. Anyway, I hate the whole awkward thing – my jokes go down way better when it's all laid-back. We need to do something. I mean, James likes Lily. And Lily likes James, right?" he asked, grinning.

"Well, yeah, I'm pretty sure she does," said Candace, crinkling up her nose as she thought.

Sirius didn't say anything for a second, as he thought about how cute she looked when she crinkled up her nose like that.

"But I also think she is scared of having anything with James, yknow? And I think she likes another guy too..." At this, Sirius snapped out of it.

"What!" he yelled.

"Well yeah, but I think I can beat it out of her. I have my ways. Did you have anything in mind to get them together?" she asked eagerly, thinking it was best that she didn't tell Sirius who James' competition was.

"Well, um, not really. Not yet, anyway. But I was thinking, we could call in overly smart reinforcements?" he said, grinning charmingly.

Candace looked confused for a minute, before it clicked. "Yeah! Sammy and Remus! They'll know what to do! They're smart!"

"Hey!" he protested, glaring at her jokingly.

She looked at him pointedly, not even having to say anything.

"Yeah, ok. They're the smart ones."

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

The rest of the day went past in a blur. Candace and Sirius spent the whole day scheming, and waiting agitatedly to tell Sammy and Remus.

James and Lily spent the day avoiding each other at all costs.

Later that night, Candace and Sirius cornered the 'smart ones' in the common room. Lily and James were both in their respective dormitories, still in avoidance mode.

"Remmy you old dog you! Let's talk about our Potions essay," said Sirius, clapping Remus on the back and steering him towards a couch in front of the fire.

"Sammy! Let's have a chat! About. Um. The Transfiguration test tomorrow!" said Candace loudly, grabbing Sammy's arm and dragging her to the same couch, plonking her down next to Remus.

Sirius and Candace stood in front of them as a united, nervous front.

"So," started Sirius, smiling at the two encouragingly.

"Sammy, I didn't bring you here to talk about the test thingy. Wait, what subject was it?" said Candace, staring upwards as if the answer would fly down from heaven and hit her in the face.

"Yeah, I gathered," she said drily, rolling her eyes.

"And Moony, I didn't," started Sirius, but he was rudely cut off by Remus.

"Bring me here to talk about our potions essay," he said, his tone matching Sam's.

"We have a potions essay?!" he asked loudly, looking horrified.

Remus just glared at him, and Sirius grinned weakly – "Of course we do. I knew that. It's on, um, potions."

Sirius pulled Candace to the side quickly, holding up one finger in front of Remus and Sammy – one minute.

"Operation Moongoose Pie isn't going well Candy darling!" he whispered frantically, his eyes a little manic.

"Operation Mongoose Pie?! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! Why can't it be Operation Bananarama Feet?"

Sirius just stared at her, not knowing whether he wanted to jump her right there and then, or back away slowly.

"Yes, why ever not. Ok, ok that's not the issue here – why don't we just call it Operation Mongoose Feet?" he asked, trying to rush her along as he saw Remus attempting to get up out of the corner of his eye.

"No!" she protested in a high-pitched voice, "Why not Bananarama Pie!"

"Oh Merlin. Okay you crazy woman, Bananarama Pie! Now, let's go catch them before they leave, and we will tell them what is going down in this hood," he said, leaving her standing there as he ran and tackled Remus back onto the chair, before getting up and delicately brushing imaginary germs off his robes.

"Black! How many times have I told you, you're way too white. This is a crib! CRIB. C-R-I-B," she yelled, stalking back towards them and taking up her previous position next to Sirius, who was looking a little depressed that he wasn't gangster.

"I thought a crib was something you put babies in," said Sirius sullenly, glaring at Candace.

"Guys!" yelled Sammy, clicking her fingers in front of their face, "What did you want to tell us!"

"Oh yeah," said Sirius, suddenly excited again. "Well, we know that James likes Lily right, and we think Lily might like James, so we want – " he was cut off by Candace.

"We want to play matchmaker! Operation Moongoose Feet Banana Pie, we call it."

Sirius stared at her. "No it wasn't woman! It was Bananarama Mongeese!"

"Mongeese! That isn't even a word! What is a mongoose anyway, is it a type of cat?" Candace again did the whole look-to-the-heavens –for-the-answer thing, a puzzled look on her face.

"Guys," groaned Remus.

"Oh! Yeah!" said Sirius happily. "So, we need you two smart children to come up with a fantasticerooni plan to get them to get together and make sweet sweet love!"

Candace glared at him.

"Ew," said Sammy, wrinkling up her nose.

"Maybe not that last bit," Sirius conceded.

"So let me get this straight Sirius," started Sammy, Sirius eagerly nodding, "You want me and Remus to come up with a plan, to help you and Cands with a nutty scheme to get James and Lily together which could potentially ruin their friendship?"

"Um. Yes?" said Sirius, not really understanding what she had said, still grinning and nodding.

Sammy and Remus looked at each other shyly, then back at the other two.

"Done."


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, the four matchmakers spent the day scheming, coming up with ridiculous ideas (on Candace and Sirius' side) and halfway decent ideas (on Remus and Sammy's side), but nothing ever seemed to fit.

Until the middle of a hideously boring, tedious double Potions class.

"I've got it!" yelled Sirius loudly, standing up and putting his hand in the air as if he'd discovered how to eradicate Boggarts once and for all.

"Got what Black," said Professor Brinks in a frustrated manner, "A brain?"

"No sir," said Sirius excitedly, "But could I please go to the bathroom? And can Remus come with me? He has to help me..."

"Don't finish that sentence Black," said the professor. "Oh, just go Black. You're annoying me. Just be back in time to make the potion."

"Oh, I already know how to make it Professor!" yelled Sirius, ignoring the teacher, whom was yelling after him ("How could you know when I haven't told you yet!") as he dragged Remus out the door.

He pulled Remus down the hallway roughly, almost skipping with glee.

"Sirius! What's going on? What have you got! It better not be a disease," said Remus, pulling his hand away from Sirius' in disgust as he jogged to keep up with him.

Sirius suddenly came to a halt in the middle of the hallway, which would have caused any normal person to fall over if they happened to be jogging directly behind him. However, Remus managed to right himself at the last second – he had accustomed himself to Sirius' random 'stop points', and generally knew when they were coming.

"Well, Moony! I have thought of the perfect plan for our dearest Lilikins and Jamesie-poo!" he said excitedly, jumping up and down on the spot.

Remus watched him jump, getting a little dizzy.

"Uh huh. And what's the plan Padfoot?" he asked, a little worried.

"Well, Remmy darling, before I tell you the Plan of Geniusness, you must tell me one thing!" he yelled, holding up a finger in front of Remus' face as he jumped.

"Uh huh. And what's that?" Remus replied, getting more worried by the second.

"Can you somehow make your own spell? And potion? And word thing?" he asked, slowing his bouncing down.

"Incantation?" said Remus, shaking his head sadly, "Well, maybe. It depends what it is, what it has to do, how advanced it is..."

"But it can be done?" screeched Sirius, starting to jump higher again.

"Well yes, but you have to be very careful with the procedure, and..."

Remus continued with many technical, confusing terms, and Sirius blocked him out, bouncing with glee. He had never been so good at thinking! Everyone would talk about this for years to come. Sirius the smart, the brave, the genius.

Remus realised Sirius wasn't listening at all and sighed. He looked at his expression and felt a sudden sense of doom – he knew what that look meant. It meant Sirius was going to do something really really big, nobody was going to stop him, and whatever it was, he had to break at least 50 school rules to do it.

"Oh great. What is it this time?" said Remus resignedly, grabbing Sirius' arm so he had to stop jumping.

"Oh don't worry Moony, you'll love this one," said Sirius dreamily, staring past Remus' shoulder into nothingness.

"Earth to Padfoot!" yelled Remus exasperatedly, clapping his hands in front of Sirius' face.

"Oh. Oh yeah! Okay, I have this great idea, but we have to tell Candace and Sam at the same time! Let's go tell them now!"

Remus stared at Sirius in blatant amusement, grabbing Sirius' upper arm as he spun around to go and tell the girls.

"Siri. It's class time. We can't go and tell them now."

"Dammit! Aw but Rem," Sirius whined, resembling the dog that he transformed into once a month.

"Shush you silly dog! We'll have to wait until after dinner, when Lily and James aren't around. You think you can handle that?" said Remus, smirking as Sirius adopted a crestfallen expression on his charming face.

"Fine. But straight after dinner, we kidnap the girls and take them on a secret mission okay!" said Sirius, suddenly excited again.

The rest of the day was spent with a lot of foot-tapping, fingernail-biting, and quill-eating. Well, on Sirius' part anyway. How he made it through dinner, Remus had no idea. Though he had never seen anybody eat a whole chicken so fast.

As soon as Sirius had finished inhaling his chicken he jumped up, ever the subtle one, grabbed Candace and Sammy (whom were both of course, still eating), and started to walk out of the Hall. Remus had been expecting this and had already eaten as much food as he could bear. He made up a quick excuse to a dumbfounded Lily and James ("a new prank, you wouldn't be interested") and rushed after them.

He caught up to them quickly, as Sammy and Candace had put up a struggle – in fact, he found them just outside the Hall, Candace trying to hit Sirius with a chicken leg.

"What are you doing you stupid, dirty great, dumb-faced boy?!" yelled Candace in between whacks, upset that she hadn't gotten to finish her dinner.

"OW!" he squealed, trying to wrestle the chicken bone off her.

Sammy stood by and smirked until it started to look painful – and then she, a little stupidly, attempted to intervene.

"Cands, maybe you shouldn't – OW!" Candace whirled round at the sound of Sammy's voice and hit her right in the middle of her forehead – accidentally, of course.

Candace immediately dropped the bone and adopted a horrified expression. "Sam, I'm so sorry, oh Merlin, I'm so sorry, does it hurt?"

Sammy clutched at her head and moaned, "Of course it bloody hurts."

Remus chose this moment to be the second, and more successful, person to intervene.

"Guys, guys, calm down. Siri, you stay to my left, Candace to my right. Now Sammy, are you okay? Do you need to go to the infirmary?" asked Remus worriedly, trying to look at Sammy's face as she defiantly covered it with her hands, not allowing him to see.

"I'm fine," she said, her teeth grinding together, "Nothing a few hours sleep won't fix. Now what in Merlin's name is Black doing, making us skip dinner?"

"Yeah," growled Candace, leaning over Remus to glare at Sirius.

Remus chuckled under his breath. "Well, Sirius here has come up with an idea. Finally. So, he decided he needed to tell us as soon as humanly possible – you're lucky he didn't pull you out of class earlier he was so excited."

"Exactly!" burst in Sirius, talking over the top of the girls, "So now we need to go to the Room of Requirement so we can't be overheard. Hurry it along you slackers," and with that he started running down the Hall, three pairs of eyes staring after him.

"Better go after him then hadn't we?" said Candace a little dreamily, breaking into a graceful jog as she went after him.

"Yeah," said Remus, looking at Sammy again worriedly before putting an arm around her and steering her in the right direction.

When Sirius reached the room, he didn't hesitate even for a second before throwing open the door in glee.

"Woop!" he yelled, doing a strange victory dance around the room as he impatiently waited for the other three to enter and sit on the pink cushy chairs that had appeared.

"Now ladies and gentlemen, for the grand unveiling of my plan!" started Sirius, continuing his little jig around the chairs, as excited as a child on Christmas.

"Just bloody get on with it Padfoot," chided Remus, trying not to grin.

"Alright Moony, don't get your knickers in a twist," said Sirius, smirking at his best friend.

"You have no effect on any of the knickers in this room!" retorted Candace, "So bloody well hurry up!"

"Okay, okay! So, the aim of Mission Mongoose Bananarama was to-"

"Hang on! I thought it was Mongeese Pie!" interjected Candace.

"Whatever, whatever, Mongeese Banana Pies. The name is irrelevant! Anyway, the plan was to make Lily and James closer, on every possible level, so that they realise their love for each other, right?" The rest of the group nodded, egging him on.

"Well, have any of you heard of the expression 'joined at the hip'?" Sirius started excitedly. They all nodded, and Remus groaned, looking as if he were about to interrupt.

"Well we, oh dear Marauders, and...well... I guess you two can be honorary Marauders for the time being... Anyway, we are going to literally join them at the hip!" he proclaimed, grinning broadly.


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius' three friends just sat there and stared at him like he was mad. Blinking, bloody, twatting, completely and utterly, incomprehensibly mental. Then they began to look confused. And then, suddenly it dawned on them. Well. It dawned on Remus anyway.

"Siri, no!" gasped Remus, clutching at his chest as if it suddenly hurt. "You mean... what you asked me before? About creating your own spell?" he wheezed, looking horrified.

"Yes, Rem! Isn't it brilliant!" squealed Sirius, looking ever-so pleased with himself.

"What? What are you on about you two?" said Candace impatiently, her leg bouncing up and down as she waited for an answer.

"I want to make a –"

"Sirius wants to create a spell that will literally, and I mean, literally, join Lily and James at the hip," groaned Remus, putting his head in his hands.

A gasp was emitted from Sammy, and she reflexively removed her hand from her head to cover her mouth.

This time it was Candace who gasped. "Merlin Sammy, I'm so sorry – I really can do wonders with a chicken bone."

At the same time she said this, Sirius put his two galleons in. "You've got a giant egg on your head!"

Sammy scowled and put her hand back up to her head, thankful that Remus was too busy groaning and feeling sorry for himself to notice.

"Anyway, what? WAIT. Hold up. Stop the clock. Are you saying Sirius, that you want to make Lily and James joined?!" Candace asked incredulously, staring at Sirius.

He nodded ecstatically as Remus groaned again. It seemed that any time it was mentioned, Remus automatically groaned.

Candace stared at Sirius for a moment longer before breaking out into a matching grin.

"I will never yell at you again," she breathed, looking at him in awe.

"I'm going to hold you to that," mumbled Sammy, still not moving her hand from her face.

"You like it? You think it's genius, right?" said Sirius excitedly, almost clapping his hands with glee.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say its genius, but I would say it's... inspired," said Candace, still in disbelief over the whole plan.

"You can't actually think it's a good idea," said Remus, sounding scandalized.

"Of course I do! They are forced to spend time with each other, they can't get away, and of course they will profess their undying love for each other at the end! It will be like some wonderful love story, only twisted..." she trailed off dreamily, staring into the distance.

Remus stared at her as if she was bonkers, before turning to (whom he thought was) the only sane person left.

"Sam? You don't think it's a good idea do you? It's quite preposterous really, isn't it?" he urged, trying to get someone to back him up.

"Well actually," she said, lifting her hand a little bit so she could speak properly, "I don't think it's all that bad really. I mean a little unethical, but think about how much time they would have to spend together? They would definitely end up together in the end of it," she said, smiling a little as she thought about it.

Remus put his head in his hands again, making even louder negative noises.

Sirius sat down next to him and clasped his hands together, as if praying.

"Please, Rem? We can't do it without your spell expertise and your... your genius stuff. We need you Moony!" he pleaded and begged.

Remus sat in the same position for a moment longer before opening his hands a little and sighing.

"Fine, but this better work," he grumbled, earning whoops from Candace and another victory dance from Sirius.

"Okay! We will start researching first thing tomorrow then," said Sirius, bundling them all out of the room, excited and still on an adrenalin rush.

The girls agreed and they all promised to meet at the library straight after breakfast to start work on the spell.

After the girls had left, Sirius nudged Remus.

"Uh, Rem, I need to ask you something. I couldn't really ask while the girls were here, because it's a bit embarrassing..." started Sirius, looking uncomfortable.

To Remus, it was the best moment of his life. Sirius was uncomfortable, and was about to ask him a serious question! This must be big. Remus readied himself emotionally, ready to give the perfect answer to whatever Sirius threw at him.

"Yeah, Siri?" he inquired nonchalantly. As if he didn't know that this was going to be one of the most important questions Sirius would ever ask. Remus could almost feel tears coming on – his little puppy was growing up.

"Uh, where's the library?"

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"Hinky Punk," mumbled Sirius angrily, storming into the common room and then stomping loudly up the staircase to the boys dormitories, turning a few heads as he went.

Remus ran after him, chuckling a little. "I'm sorry Padfoot! I didn't mean to yell! And then laugh! Truly, I'll show you were it is..." he yelled in Sirius' direction, trying to keep up with the bigger boy as he ascended the stairs.

Sirius whirled around, his face stony, yet starting to wane. They both knew Sirius could only stay mad for a small amount of time before he went mental.

"Fine! But I was only joking anyway, I know where it is," he retorted, shrugging off Remus and stalking into the boys dormitory.

"Okay, Siri, you can take us there in the morning then," smirked Remus, laughing as Sirius made an illegible noise and flipped him a rather rude hand gesture.

"Now, now no need for that. Remember that I'm the one helping you here Padfoot," warned Remus half-jokingly.

"Helping him with what?" inquired a voice from across the room.

Sirius and Remus both jumped, startled. They had forgotten that they wouldn't be alone once they were back in their dorm.

"Oh, just a Potions essay," said Remus airily, reaching hastily over to his bedside table and grabbing a pack of cards, "Exploding Snap anyone?"

James looked a little confused, wondering when they had been given a Potions essay, but decided not to mention it.

"Okay!" he said happily, bounding over to sit on Remus' bed and snatching the cards away.

Sirius jumped onto the other side of the bed next to Remus and whispered quietly in the werewolf's ear so that James couldn't hear.

"Damn straight you're helping me, Moony old friend. And if you back out, I'll tell James here that you had a crush on Lily last year," he smiled happily at Remus, as if telling him the circus was coming to town.

Remus turned, slightly horrified, to stare at Sirius. Though he was about to protest, Sirius simply shook his head knowingly, and Remus gave up the farce, merely replying with a resigned nod and a sigh.

"So are we playing or what?" said James impatiently.

_Three weeks later _

Remus inconspicuously poured a concoction from a small vial in his pocket into the two goblets across from him. Only a second later, the students started pouring in, and Lily and James sat down in their usual seats.

"Hey Rem, you're here early," mumbled James, taking a sip from his goblet, much to Remus' delight, "Doesn't dinner only start like, right now?"

"Yeah, are you okay?" asked Lily, copying James' movements exactly – sipping her goblet a little more delicately.

"I'm fantastic," he beamed. Twelve hours from now, and he would be even better – if it didn't all go perfectly, he was absolutely screwed.

_Seven O'clock The Next Morning_

Lily woke up blurry-eyed, feeling something soft beside her. She tried sitting up but couldn't, feeling as if there was a heavy weight on her...or beside her? Beside her? Lily turned her head cautiously to the side and screamed loudly. James Potter was lying next to her. Had somebody spiked her drink the night before?

She immediately rose, trying to get out of bed. Something was holding her back – she seemed to be pulling James with her. Merlin, she needed to get out of there before he woke up. She attempted to pull herself up again, looking around cautiously.

Oh. Oh Merlin. She was in the boys' dorm. Lily Evans, head girl, prefect, all-round good student, and underground troublemaker, was in the boys' dorm. She brought a hand to her mouth so none of the other three sleeping boys would hear her muffled yell. She had to get out of there quick, before any of them woke up, or before one of the girls woke up – she would never, ever live it down. Oh, the names she would be called...

She struggled again, before she felt something move beside her. James was waking up.

"No, no, no," whispered Lily frantically under her breath, pulling herself away quickly and out of bed.

"Agh!" she yelled as she fell down the side of the bed, and then something (or someone) fell on top of her.

A matching scream was emitted from James, whom had fallen on top of her.

"Geroff me!" she squealed, pushing James as he struggled to wake up and take in what was happening around him.

"Right, right," he said, trying to get up off Lily and regain his composure.

But he found that he couldn't. Something was pulling him back.

"What the...?" he said, propping himself up on top of Lily as he looked down in confusion.

Of course, to Lily, it looked as if he were staring down at her.

"James Potter, you disgusting specimen, get the hell off me!" she screamed, pushing him hard, and suddenly feeling a sharp pain in her side.

"Ow!" she squealed, momentarily forgetting that James was on top of her, and propping herself up on her elbows to stare at her side.

They both realised at the same time. And they both screamed at the same time.

"AGH!"

James rolled onto his side and sat up, pulling Lily with him. He sat in his bright purple boxers, staring at his side, and she did the same, adorned in only a black tank top and bright pink boxers.

"What," started James incredulously.

"The," continued Lily, her face an absolute picture.

"Hell," they chorused, staring at each other for a minute.

Like before, it dawned on them at the same time.

"Sirius!" they screamed loudly in anger. But they needn't have screamed so loud, for Sirius, Remus and Peter were all already standing in front of them, looking down on them, each boy's face expressing a different level of amusement.


End file.
